This Winter at Chabot our students concocted suspenseful stories in our Mystery curriculum. Check out some of our favorite excerpts below!
From Settings: Students picked a setting and mood for a story and focused on describing it.
In the Forest
It sounded like someone talking, but then the sound hit a wall. It looked like beautiful nature that moved like people move. The trees felt like oil that does not move, that has hardened. There are no birds, nor any animals, because of one little girl. She scares them away. It smells like dust mixed with perfume. She was a bad little girl, an evil little girl. The birds went away because she always killed their families. She was evil because a spell had been cast upon her.
-Amy
From hooks and story-starters: Students had to write stories that started with a hook or right in the middle of the action, based on a series of one-liner story-starters that were handed out.
The door was ajar. I could hear voices yelling about something. I crept inside the broken-down studio. I peeked around the corner and I saw a little boy crying with two men standing over him. They were arguing over what to do with him. “We should punish him,” one man said.
“Why? Because he was curious I say we let him go,” the other said. They finally came to an agreement. “We will hide him for one night, then let him out in the morning.”
“OK.”
I got a quick glimpse of the boy’s face before they took him away. It was my brother.
-Arielle
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
He Was Missing
“Eek!” cried a panicked voice from the top of the building. Bob Williams quickly ran up the stairs to a shocking surprise. His son, Tommy, was missing. Bob quickly informed the authorities, who sent a guy named Al Davis, who had only solved missing eraser cases in his 25-year career.
“What’s the problem?” said Al.
“My son, Tommy, is missing,” said Bob.
“Oh,” said Al. “I’m used to solving cases like missing erasers.”
“Well, my son isn’t an eraser, so get to work!” exclaimed Bob with a hint of impatience.
* * *
“Get up,” shouted an angry voice.
Tommy blinked, “Where am I?” he said nervously.
“I’m not sure I’m the guy to tell you that,” said the voice.
Tommy was rolled down a pitch-black hall with no end. When he tried to get up, he found he was tied to the chair.
-Connor
From hooks and story-starters: Students had to write stories that started with a hook or right in the middle of the action, based on a series of one-liner story-starters that were handed out.
1) I thought it was just a glitch in my computer, but that was yesterday…. Today, I realized that it was a secret message sent by Aclue, whoever that was supposed to be. The message had a map in it, so I printed it and decided to find the end.
2) The stranger came to the village just as the first season’s snows began. I was having a dream about riding a friendly crayfish named Flash. He was just about to make me a chocolate cake, when suddenly I felt a chill and bolted upwards in bed.
-Dabney
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
Bobby Joe was Missing
Joe Smith and his sidekick Mick Whale woke up to a ringing phone. The police said that Bobby Joe had been kidnapped. They went to Bobby Joe’s house right away. Joe Smith and Mick Whale were professional spies.
They got to Bobby Joe’s house and looked for clues. They found a knife with blood all over it. They thought Bobby Joe had been murdered, but they stayed on the case. Then, a rock hit the window of the house. They looked out the window and saw a car driving away. In the car was Bobby Joe. He threw the rock at the window to get their attention. They got in their car and drove after him.
The people who stole Bobby Joe parked at the church. Joe Smith walked into the church and someone threw a cover over his head.
-Diego
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
He was Missing
I woke up with the sun glaring in my eyes, and I jumped out of bed.
“Mathew! Get up! It’s 12:05”
“Yes, mom,” I mumbled as I slowly walked to the kitchen and fell into my chair. After a filling breakfast of eggs and toast, I got ready for my new school.
When I got to KPU, I went to the office to find out where to find my class. When I found P3, I went inside.
“Welcome to KPU, you must be Mathew. I’m Professor P,” said the long-haired, blonde, short man. “Please sit down.”
I sat next to a very short girl with long, dirty blonde hair. She smiled at me, then started to fiddle with her pencil.
“So, shall we get started?” Professor P said.
After a long day of weird tests, it was finally time to go to our rooms in the school. When I was about to leave, Professor P said, “Can Billy, Lucy, and Mathew please stay a second.” I turned around and sat down next to the short girl who must have been Lucy, and a plump boy who must have been Billy.
“After all of my tests you three are my willders of 7th grade.”
“What are willders?” I asked.
“Willders are people of all ages , in kindergarten through 12th grade, and they all train every day in magic.”
-Elias
From Hook Your Reader: Students had to write stories that started with a hook to get the reader’s attention.
The second time I saw it, I didn’t realize what it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The last of its kind! Oh my, it’s on sale, almost for free. Only $200. I got out my money. Then, I ran at it as fast as I could. I carefully took it out and paid for it. I rushed home not believing what I had gotten. My parent’s would be amazed, I thought.
When they came home, they took it away from me. They said, “That’s not for you.” I didn’t understand. I had gotten it from a store, with my own money!
-Ella
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
It was missing!
I woke up and heard my alarm going, “Beep! Beep! Beep!” I rolled over and smacked the stinkin’ alarm’s off button. I got out of bed and trudged downstairs. I wiped the sleep from my eyes. As I buttered my toast, I turned on the TV. It was the news, and they were talking about some theft from a museum. I looked up to see what it was. They showed a picture of a gold ring in a case that said, “14 karat gold engraved with platinum.” The man on the screen said, “All of the security cameras were broken and all of the guards were gone in the morning. There was no evidence, not even fingerprints.”
My sister, Lucy, came into the room with my mom. She said, “You’re up early.”
I turned and said, “Yeah, take a look at the news.”
She came over and looked at the screen and said, “Wow, I wonder how they managed that.”
“I know,” I said. “That must have been worth about $20,000.”
“More,” said mom. “More like $50,000.”
I took a big bite of my toast and sat down on my chair, but my sister pulled it out from under me and I landed on my butt. “Lucy!” I shouted. “What did you do that for?”
“It was funny,” she said.
-Joey
From an activity where students listed story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story by filling in the details from their lists.
The Wand of Secrets
Once upon a time in Switzerland, there lived a princess called Miss Angeline Vermont. Her father, the king, was named Mr. S. R. Titanic. Then, he died suddenly, so suddenly that everyone was in shock. Then the battle for the throne began.
She tried to win, but it was hard. She had to win the vote. She did win the vote, though, finally, and ruled for 66 years. Her castle was built entirely out of marble and stone, and it had one thousand rooms!
-Josette
From “What Matters:” Students list things that matter, and it turns into a kind of litany poem, or could become details to fill a story.
What Matters
I matter
My hamster matters
Books matter
Christmas matters
Family matters
Friends matter
The world matters
School matters
Brushing my hair matters
Being nice matters
My bed matters
Crayons matter
Seeing matters
Sweets matter
Pictures matter
-Jessie
From Beginning, Middle, End: Students start a story and then pass their story to a neighbor to write the next section. Each student writes a beginning, middle, and an end, with a chance to develop more than one story together.
Everyone avoided the big old mansion. It was believed to have a mystery to it. You saw every person who went in, and they never came out. The house was built in 1448 and owned by Mr E. Us. In 1960, he had it remodeled to be dark and gloomy. The day after it was finished, he disappeared. Now everyone who goes in never comes out. Until the day me and my dog went to check it out.
It was very dark and I couldn’t see a thing until I turned on my flashlight. Suddenly, my dog barked and my flashlight went dead! “What happened?” I cried.
-Max
From Settings: Students picked a setting and mood for a story and focused on describing it.
In the basement.
It was cold and dark. It was the place where everyone put their junk. There was a horrible stench. It came from the stuff that was rotting, disintegrating, dissolving, and worse. It was all black, but when you turned on the lights—let’s just say think of all the colors imaginable and that still doesn’t explain what it looked like down there. It sounded like birds, music, squeaking, and scratching…
-Molly
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
It Was Missing
The golden skull was missing! Joe, the banker who owned it, confided in Igor Jenkins, Private Eye. Igor went to the scene, a house in Rome. He saw size 20 shoes. “Hmmm,” he muttered. “This must be a tall man.” They were Zapatos, very expensive. He traced the shoes to Alex of Lorland. Alex was hanged and the treasure was restored to Joe.
After examining it, Igor exclaimed “It’s a fake!”
“Vaht!?” Joe said, owing to his heavy accent. “Eet eez paler zan zee ariginal!”
“Wait,” said Dr. Jenkins, “This seems to be cracked.” Opening it, he fell into the void.
Joe jumped in. He found the actual skull. Igor was never seen again.
-Owen
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
It Was Missing
I woke up with my answering machine saying, “Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEP.”
“Please (sob), please help me, Detective Math. You’re my only hope (sob). My pet poodle, Sam, is missing. I live on College Avenue in the house 1119. Please (sob), help me.”
When I heard that, I fully awoke. A mystery! I got out of bed and got dressed. Then I immediately drove to College Avenue. I got there and rang the doorbell. A voice that sounded sore from crying hollered, “Coming!” I waited for five minutes until a woman answered the door.
“Hello,” I said. “you have a pet poodle missing?”
From “It was missing!”: Students listed some story “ingredients” for who, what, when, where, why, and how, and then wrote a story based around a case of something missing filling in the details from their lists.
He Was Missing
One night as I was coming home from work, I saw some strange men on my neighbor’s porch. One was holding a gun and a crowbar, and the other one had a club. I watched as they broke down the door and went inside. I pulled over and parked the car. As I was getting out, the men ran out of the house with a body between them, and then they hopped into a white MDX and took off.
-Wyatt
