Fun Excerpts from our Thornhill Elementary Writers!

This spring TMWFI's been exploring the many ways writers get their ideas. We’ve discussed the many meanings of treasure and found inspiration in all sorts of places, from long lost twins to just looking in our pockets, we’ve found treasures everywhere!

From the prompt “I reached inside my pocket...”

I reached inside my pocket and found 3 paper clips, 2 lint balls, 5 million dollars, a toy dog, a piece of paper, and...wait, what?! Ok go back two things in my pocket. A piece of paper, a toy dog, and what?! 5 million dollars! Oh wait, it’s only $5, keep going. An eraser, 2 pencils, 10 staples, my homework, my favorite book, and my dog?!...

-Olivia

I reached inside my pocket and I found a carrot. A golden carrot. It was a weird no-good carrot! I bit into it and then Poooofff! I could see blackness. Bark, bleak, black, but then I saw a rainbow and I crashed into it, but then I was in the rainbow. It was like a tube with all the colors of the rainbow inside and outside. When I reached into my pocket again I found at least 20 of these golden carrots. I just wondered how to get out of this rainbow.

-Jamie

I reached inside my pocket and found a watch ticking like there’s no tomorrow. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I reached a little deeper and found a pencil no bigger than an inch. I found a shiny pink eraser, but it was worn away at the edges. An old map of the NY subway trains. A coupon for pizza. A stick of spearmint gum, A mini map of the world.  A stick of lip balm. And an everlasting gobstopper.

-Sidney

I reached inside my pocket and found a paperclip, toenail, cootie catcher, an apple core, and well, finally, a million dollar check from Brad Smelly Pitts! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And a ticket winner for the 33 million dollar Lotto Lottery! I’m stinkin’ darn rich, and I literally mean it! I’m darn stinky and I’m darn rich! Which equals stinkin’ darn rich!

-Parsa

I stumbled through the quiet streets of Pennsylvania. My hand slid inside my pocket hoping to feel the comforting feeling of my compus, but instead all I feel is cold air. That’s when I fall to the sidewalk trembling. The last precious thing, the last piece of my parents is gone...

-Grace

From You Name It, We’ve Found It (Create a story in which something is lost in a caband someone else finds it.)

My book was getting good, really good. I was lost and the swaying of the taxi cab calmed my restless mind. Hours passed though it felt like minutes and when I looked up Prudence and my dad were gone. Panic filled my heart. “Excuse me!” I called to the driver of the cab.

“Faithful, darling Faithful, is that really you?” I almost doubled over in shock. How did this person know my name?

-Lauren

My icy blue eyes darted from Faithful to Mercy. I hated shopping with dad, especially since he floated down the aisle like a careless jerk. Try on this, buy that, go to aisle thirteen =’s absolute annoyance. The good thing was is that it gave me extra time to daydream. The faint eclipse of memories of my mother floated lifelessly like ghosts through a haunted inn in my black mind. I remember the strongest memory of them all. My worst nightmares were not of vampires and ghosts. It was losing my sister.

-Anneke

From My Name Is...Mad Libs variation

My name is Hurricane.

My name is made from stormy goo.

I found my name in pickle town.

My name can shape shift.

It reminds me of pandas. -Gulzar

My name is made from the dark depths of the cold sea and the blaring sun reflecting off tall overpowering skyscrapers of the wonderful city.

-Mitch

My name is stormy.

My name is made from poofy tigers.

I found my name in Atlanta.

My name can turn invisible.

It reminds me of hairy guinea pigs.

-Michela

From What is treasure? (Write a story about the treasured object you have chosen.)

Hello there! I am Peter Panda, No, not Peter the Panda. Petter Panda, I am a panda, like it says in my name. My best friend is Kitty. And yes, she is a girl. I am black and white, like pandas always are. Kitty is all white. Right now I jut took a shower (in the washing machine?!) and smell all soapy. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I am a stuffie (or stuffed animal). I am going to tell you about one of the most exciting days of my life.

-Gwen

Charles Eeast. The label read Charles Eeast. It was engraved in black ink and covered in black soot and ash. The object was well camouflaged in the darkness of night on the barren landscape where wars were fought, where hatred engulfed this saddened landscape. A fallen soldier, perhaps an innocent killed by unsatisfied men demanding death. Charles W. Eeast must have been the cause of this object. By watching with curiosity in his soul, probably watching the battle with this object. Now as I hold the object, uncertain of its value and purpose to the world as we know it, I search my mind like a hawk. Memories upon memories. When I find what I am holding, realization washes over me and I know I’m holding an ancient pair of binoculars.

-Maxwell

From the prompt: Your main character has lost an object and is searching desperately for it. One day they come across the Museum of Found Objects...

Hey wait there’s my stuffy fluffy. I need to get that back! Hey mister manager guy, give me my stuffy back. I need it now. The manager said, Get away you fiend! With my jaw wide open I say, “Who you calling fiend?” He calls security and they toss my outside. So they want to play dirty. Well two can play at that game.

-Robert

From the prompt: Your main character is a thief and plans to break into the Museumof Found Objects to get this object...

Ella Herperson the thief who stole the Eiffel Tower. “Everybody is talking about her!” Sasha Mello said. Everyday Sasha heard people talk about her after the crime happened two months ago. Sasha secretly knew Ella Herperson and actually Sasha and Ella were best friends.

-Ava

From: Write a story about if you had a long lost twin.

Score!!! I just scored the winning goal in the high school championship. As my teammates tackle me, I fall to the ground with pride. This is my daily life: school, football/soccer (whatever you Americans call it), and sleep. That’s pretty much it. Well, except for a couple of meals here and there and some other minor events.

-Sophie

(Thornhill Elementary, Grades 3-5, Teacher: Emily Phillips)

Words from Our Young Authors at Thornhill Elementary

Ever heard of a word portrait? Did you know that portraits aren't just painted with paintbrushes or taken with a camera? In this session, the 4th & 5th grade students at Thornhill Elementary have been writing portraits of their lives, the lives of others, the places they love and more. From My Name Is Exercise: (Using this prompt please use personification to write about your name.)

My Name Is... My name is made from the sweet smell of eucalyptus in the morning, the deep, low rumble and roar of the tiger, the squeaks, purrs, and kindness of how my pets greet me when I come home. The gentle breeze when I sit outside reading, writing, stoking my pets, and listening to the birds chirp in the afternoon. My name is made from the joyfulness of going to Peru and hiking, biking, learning, going to new places and going rafting in a tough river. I found my name can fly to the depths of the sky and run as fast as a cheetah.

- Michela

My Name Is...

My name is made from the flowers that bloom in the spring and the snowflakes that fall in the winter. I found my name in a redwood tree high above the ground. My name can fly high above the ground, and never come down. If I lost my name I would look in the trees and in the sky and find it right where I left it.

- Gwen

My Name Is... My name is made from little baby pandas screeching at the zoo. It is from my pen scribbling across my page. I found my name in a deep dark hole in the ground. My name dashes through the colors of life. If I lost my name I would cry until I found my mischievous name.

- Sophie

From Portrait of a Place Exercise:

One day I was in Japan. I was walking on the street and I saw agate that led to a garden. There were cats and dogs cuddling, pretty red, orange, green, and pink plants and trees all over the soft grass. Birds singing. Benches for people to sit on. I smelled the pine trees. The flowers smelled better than ever too. I thought I tasted fruits and veggies. There was a door. It led to a lake as blue as the sky. Beavers building dams and owls sleeping. It was amazing. No not amazing. Outstanding.

- Robert

From My Emotion Is Exercise: (Using this prompt please use personification to write about your emotion.)

My Emotion Is ...

My happiness is courageous and strong.

My happiness comes from the sleek, black piano downstairs.

I found my happiness in the ripe, juicy blackberries that grow outside in the summer.

My happiness can soar high in the sky with the birds and the clouds.

If I ever lost my happiness, I would search high and low and probably find it right where I left it.

- Emma

From the Paint a Word Portrait Exercise: (Describe a person using as many metaphors and similes as you can.)

Untitled Black and White the Horse: She is a white as a new blanket of snow with black spots as black as the sky when it is dark at night. As gentle as a flower, as pretty as a rose, as caring as a mother, she is as playful as a baby.

-Aisling

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She has freckles that sprinkle across her nose and under her eyes like chocolate sprinkles on a vanilla cupcake. She has eyes that are brown like my Papa’s skin. She has wavy blonde hair that looks like the wood of Ms. Young’s desk. She has a line of pearly whites that she flashes when she is happy.

- Lauren

His eyes were as gray as a cloudy day, his face tomato-red with laughter. His thin hair standing up. The highlights of blond from the long summer heat.

-Mitch

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Her fur is as black as the darkest night. Her eyes are as round as moons and as yellow as sunflower petals. Her nose is as rich and luxurious as chocolate. Her tongue is as pink as candy and as rough as sandpaper. Here ears are as soft as a warm fuzzy jacket. Her body is as warm as a fireplace.

- Anneke

Letter to your Future self: write a letter to your future self – the person you imagine you’ll be at 21.

Dear Maxwell 21 person,

Am I famous! How are my savings, a gazillion yet? Is my chump Mitch still alive or is he losing it wandering the halls? By the way did I get that computer for Hanakuh? No leaving the house at night! Do I have 12 kids? Is there a war? Who is president? Are there zombies in the street? Is Mitch richer than me? Please tell me you live in a house. Where do you live? Take this into consideration.

Peace Out!

Ten year old Maxwell

Dear Sidney from the future,

...Are you tall? I was just wondering because I am always in the top row for everything.

What college did you go to? What kind of job do you have? Where do you live?

Being a kid I pretty awesome! You fly on wings made out of Elmer’s glue and popsicle sticks all the way through elementary and middle school.

From Sidney, age 11

From the free write prompt: I Reached inside my pocket...

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One day I was walking to my house and I saw this tiny piece of a puzzle. It was black with white spots so I put the random piece in my pocket. As I was placing the puzzle in my pocket a fat grump troll came up to my foot and said, “Hey big footed person why are you messing up my puzzle? I was looking for that piece.” - Kalaya

A Day in the Life Of... Exercise: (Describe a day in the life of an object or animal.)

Mr. Egg Mr. Egg trotted out of his nest; he was tired of being sat on. “I want to make a difference in the world!” he said one early Sunday morning. Suddenly he was picked up by a giant hand, “Ahh!” Of course no one could hear him. The hand was moving and then he was in a bucket of water with all of his cousins and brothers and sisters.  They were trying to drown him! “Outrageous!” he mumbled to himself still holding his breath.

-- Maddy

Painting a Portrait through Voice Exercise: (Try writing a paragraph using an emotion to to practice voice.) Nervous

My hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t eat the cupcake they gave me. There were butterflies in my stomach and my knees were knocking. When the president called my name I thought I was going to die. I took a deep breath and walked in the office.

-Gulzar

Embarrasment

My palms were so sweaty they kept on slipping on the piano and my knees were knocking. The curtains started to open and I tried to prepare myself. The curtains suddenly opened and the spotlight fell on me. I started to play, at first slowly but getting faster. My nervousness disappeared, replaced by excitement and (I now regret it) even a little arrogance. O played faster and faster when suddenly I hit a wrong chord! Horrified I turned bright red and faltered for a second before continuing.

-Elijah

Nervous

My whole heart was pounding and bouncing up and down in my body. I was 100% shivering. Butterflies were having a disco party in my stomach and they were bouncing to the bottom of my feet. Everyone was just staring at me to start. My stomach was now tied in knot. Big knots. HUGE knots. ANGRY knots! I couldn’t even take a breath.

-Parsa

If You Want to Find... Exercise: (Using a unifying color, the kids create a scene using descriptive words to “paint” it.)

Green If you want to find green go look in a baseball stadium, look at the ground, you will see turf. Look at the A’s players pitching, bating and running.  Look at the fans cheering and wearing A’s uniforms. Look at the shiny green shoes of the players. Take your green ice cream that you bought from the person that goes around the stadium selling stuff. Buy a hamburger, look at the lettuce inside it. When the game is done get in your shiny light green car, put you’re A’s hat on and drive home, if you want to find green.

- Adrian

Black If you want to find black look in the place with the black shadows glazed on the sidewalk. You pet the black kitten that patiently waits at your feet. I saw the black hair curled down her back. Look at the oil coming out of your car if you want to find black.

- Jamie

Green If you want to find green go out in your yard and play in the long blades of grass. Go out to the park and fins the moss at the base of a tree. Then get a look at the dirty pond with a frog jumping from one lily pad to the next. After lunch go out to the ice cream shop and buy some mint ice cream. Later after a long day go home and have dinner which will be vegetables and soup.

-Sophia

Blue

If you want to find blue look up and see the bright sky shining down on you, Or you could jump into the waves and snorkel down and find a blue fish. You could surface and see all the blue beach umbrellas scattered along the sand. You can see a beach ball bouncing in between dozens of children trying to get their hands on it.

-Olivia

Gabby's Sunglasses Are Lost and Found

Sunglasses I'm chillin' at the beach. I brought everything, you're at reach. As the sunbeams glow right into my eyes, I thought I would be prepared for this surprise.

I reach inside my sunglasses case...My sunglasses! I don't see them! To my face I get off my chair, I started to get frantic. I thought to myself, "It's okay, just don't panic."

Well, I did exactly what I just thought of. But cut me some slack! What I paid for those glasses sure was a lot! I started looking under various things, like under big rocks, small pebbles, starfish, and rotten old socks!

As I itch my head thinking, "Where else could they be?" I feel behind my ear, this I feel but can't see, I realize that I had been searching for these sunglasses like my life depended on it But all this time, they had been on my head.

-Gabby, Thornhill Elementary

Words from Our Young Authors at Thornhill Elementary, Grades 2-3

This winter we utilized our taste buds and sank our teeth into the food curriculum where we wrote poems and stories about our favorite cuisines. Check out some of our favorite excerpts from the session below!

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Oh, Sushi, Oh, Sushi. You're a wild animal. You taste like a flash of light. You look like you're going to hop like a cheetah into my mouth. You're going to stop everyone in world wars because you taste so good. Sushi makes freedom come out the door with feeling. Sushi jumps into my mouth!

- Jack

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:       

Oh, Chocolate Cake, you are the taste everyone calls gold. You smell like a rose swaying in the sunlight. You feel like a cloud moving slowly in my mouth. When I see chocolate cake my eyes burst into flames! You have the taste of my life.

- Sidney

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Oh, Chip, My Love. How fresh you are! You crunch in my mouth as my white blades chomp into you. Oh, how you shatter into little bits. I taste your salty coat. My mouth starts to water.

- Amanda

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Oh, Chicken Curry. You look like fish in the ocean. You feel like a slippery monkey bar. You smell of my home… India

- Maya

From a personification exercise in which students were asked to write from the point of view of fruit:

They Call Me the Lime. I'm green with envy because lemon gets all the credit. When you make limeade from me I get revenge and turn myself sour! And you know what? You can't listen any more. Why? …Because it's over.

- Miles

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Oh, Chocolate Cake, how you make my mouth explode with flavor like a cloud bursting with rain. Your color looks like mud on the ground…

But you make my stomach feel so good.

 - Lauren

From a poetry exercise using alliterative food descriptions:

Sleeping ice cream sandwich is slimy with a silky taste. Sleeping ice cream sandwich is stalking some stockings and silly socks while looking at his snakes doing the splits.

- Sophia

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Ice cream is sweet. Ice cream is filling. Ice cream is paradise. Ice cream is in my mouth. Ice cream is gone. I am ice cream. Eat me if you would.

- Aidan

From an exercise about writing odes to favorite foods:

Chocolate Cake that crumbles in my mouth, slice after slice. That yummy little cake wouldn't mind if I take another slice… Soon it'll be gone, like an iguanadon. But I wouldn't cry… or even say goodbye!

- Josh

From a personification exercise in which students were asked to write from the point of view of fruit:      

I love my life living in a shell. Shake, Shake, Boom! I just fell from the tree! Anyway, there will be no more interruptions Hey! Someone just picked me up! Now anyway, my name is Coco the Coconut. Sometimes I do wish I was a person, not a brown ball with juice inside. Wait a minute… they're cutting me open for a snack! I'm still around, but not for long…

- Aisling

From a personification exercise in which students were asked to write from the point of view of fruit:      

I'm Angela the Apple, and I'd like to stay on this tree forever and play and eat popcorn. It feels like I'm dying when they pick me off the tree But if they don't I can plant a seed. That's a ball for apples!

- Adriana

From an exercise in which the kids wrote about their favorite personal qualities as recipe ingredients:

1 teaspoon of laughter 1 cup of reading mix while pouring in a pound of family Add a tablespoon of kindness 3 ounces of smartness slowly pour into a bowl and bake for an hour and a half Spring a pinch of soccer on top of it all Your Elijah is done!

- Elijah

As a break from the food curriculum, kids were given the beginnings of well-known proverbs and asked to write their own endings:

Never underestimate the power of... stars. You can lead a horse to water but... not food. Don’t bite the hand that... hurts. No news is... today. If you lie down with dogs you’ll... get better. Love all, trust... all. The pen is mightier than the... paper. Happy the bride who... is good.

- Isabelle

As a break from the food curriculum, kids were given the beginnings of well-known proverbs and asked to write their own endings:

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and the whole world... frowns. Love all, trust... another. Better late than... sorry. Where there’s smoke there’s... frowns. A penny saved is... lucky. children should be seen and not... yelled at.

- Ava

Words from Our Young Authors at Thornhill Elementary, Grades 4-5

This session at Thornhill we’re exploring the elements of a good mystery. The kids have been crafting mystery stories and learning all about creative writing techniques, from character and plot development to using concrete details and the five senses to tell a story. We’ve been having a great time. Here are some teasers...

From: Write a letter to or from one of your characters.

Dear Police Officer,

You wanted to know my story so...here it is! This is my story! I am Violet V. 12 years old with short brown hair and blue eyes. I used to have parents and they disappeared during a  hurricane. I was left alone with only my strict grandfather to look after me. He lived in a big, shining new house with a backyard and swimming pool in Cuba. He was a rich, greedy and mean old man. He made me be his servant! If I refused he would threaten or punish me.

-Michela

From: How to organize a mystery around Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? using the prompt “It was missing.”

Have You Lost Your Mind?

“So, who am I again?” I asked and then he vanished. Was gone. Disappeared. Left. Was Away. And I was all alone. No idea what had just happened.

“You shall go on a quest to find your memory,” said a strange man.

-Sophie

From: Describe a setting and mood with the five senses.

Small Town in the Future

The survivors wouldn’t say, so no one knew what had happened. Everyone who survived knew, but vowed to never give up. The treacherous story had brought them here, accidentally, without food, water, or any recognition of what was happening and what already had. After spending what they used to call a week, they knew what people have spent a millenia wondering, still arguing on an answer. What happens after the sun has died? The survivors are the strongest out of the strong. They are the last humans.

-Sidney

From: How to organize a mystery around Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? using the prompt “It was missing.”

I said, “Good morning, Kikii!” No answer. “Kikii, I got your favorite breakfast kitty chow!” Still no answer. I went to check her room. “Kikii, I called you a million times where were yo--” I stopped in the middle of my sentence, She wasn’t there! I looked everywhere for her. The bathroom, the kitchen, even her favorite litter box! P.U. “Reemi. Focus!”

-Reemi

From: Rewrite a twist ending for a common fairytale.

The beginning of The Boy Who Cried Wolf

In a town, lived a boy shepherd by the name of Claude. He was very tall and was very demanding with his voice. He wasn’t watchful as sheep were disappearing. One day he was bored and he cried “Wolf!” The men came running but there was no wolf. He did that every day for a week and the town was getting annoyed. They decided that they wouldn’t come anymore. The next morning Claude was missing and so were his sheep. There was blood everywhere. They looked for him for days.

-Elise (collaborated with Mitch)

From: Rewrite a twist ending for a common fairytale.

The ending of The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Finally one night they saw something moving. It was a wolf! It was talking to someone and they noticed it was a full moon. The voice was Claudes! The next morning they found bloody paw prints leading to dead sheep’s wool. I hope that creature doesn’t come to our town again, said one of the men. We spotted Claude! his feet look like claws. Funny coincidence. Claude came back. He said he was sick and he was back. But that night it was a full moon. Suddenly Claude turned into a wolf! Everyone screamed! Claude ran off and as far as I know he never came back. I’m sure everyone’s glad about that.

-Mitch (collaborated with Elise)

From: How to organize a mystery around Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? using the prompt “It was missing.”

Kila scored the winning goal!! The Shooting Stars had won the game. At the end of the game the Coach gave Kila a ball signed by everyone on her soccer team, but Jessica just gave her an evil glare. Bella was so happy she just started hugging Kila so tight. Since it was a soccer game at Disney World, Kila decided to put her ball down and go play with her friends.

-Jamie

From: Write a letter to or from one of your characters. 

2/11/1943

Dear runaway parent,

There were buckets of rain leaking through my abandoned truck. Spent the morning underneath the Grove in the park. Listening to the chirping birds as if they were crying my name, “Dustpin, Dustpin.” The winter is near, 11th Tale of my Life, leaking one tear of Hope, that you’ll be coming. Spent the afternoon seemed to leave a shadow of hunger. Found “the bike” + rode off to Charity Red Fund for supper. Now watching my life go by.

-Dustpin

(P.S. Please come for me.)

-Maxwell

From: How to organize a mystery around Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? using the prompt “It was missing.”

One day Jordan was reading his book at home when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door. Jordan went to the door to open it. At the door his friend Mike was there. “Hi, Jordan!” said Mike. “Do you want to go to the park to play basketball?” Sure!’ said Jordan. “First let me ask my mom.” Jordan’s mom said yes then he went to put on his basketball shorts. When Jordan and Mike got to the park, Jordan said, “Sooo, where is the basketball?” “Basketball? I thought you were bringing it.” So they both went back to Jordan’s house where Jordan asked his dad where his basketball was. Jordan’s dad said, “I don’t know, but maybe it’s in the garage. Let’s go check.” They searched for half an hour but couldn’t find his ball. When they got back into the house Jordan whispered to Mike, “My dad is acting suspicious, don’t you think?”

-Parsa

April's Teacher Spotlight

Want to get to know some of the creative writing masters behind “Take My Word For It!”? Meet this month’s teacher spotlight, Apollo Papafrangou!

Name: Apollo Papafrangou

Currently working at: Thornhill Elementary

Hometown: Oakland, CA

What’s your favorite bookstore? Diesel Books. Good selection of titles, friendly staff, and it's walking distance from my house!

What’s your favorite VERB? Persevere.

If your life was a book, what would be the title? "The Chronicles of a Gentleman."

Did a teacher or another writer inspire you to write? How? A local author named Jess Mowry inspired me to begin writing seriously at the age of twelve. I had written stories prior to reading his work, but his lyrical fiction -- about Bay Area youth -- resonated with me to such a degree that I wanted to write a book of my own.