Walt Disney Elementary - Creative Writing Excerpts!

Aarushi

Creeeek...I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night screaming AAAAA!

But when I got out of bed I heard a noise downstairs. I tiptoed to the bottom of the steps and I saw the fridge open and the tomato sauce was out and the mustard. And the radishes, cucumbers, lettuce, and the ice, and everything was out.

All the food started moving. They started fighting. The ketchup squirted everything. Then the blue police potatoes said “Clean up!” because it was morning. Then my mom came and said “Did you clean the kitchen?”  That was a mystery.

Maison

My name is Maison and I am in my secret hideout where I found a dinosaur book. This is the story.

I don't know if I can time travel. Can you help me? You see, right now you are on a hill. Ah! There's a dinosaur here!!!!

“Oh, hi Maison,” came a voice form the dinosaur. It's a girl. She has a secret name but nobody knows; her name is Meeeeeeee. Meeeeeeee can give me a ride to the talking rock. The talking rock can tell me the answer to everything but all he said was “Look down for a cool clue.”

I looked down, found a clue, read it, and it said “You.” That's it. Then I fell into a bush. And guess where the next clue was? Right beside  me and it said “can time.”

 “That's confusing,” I said. So I got out of the bush and suddenly I found a cave. I looked inside and there was the third clue. It said “travel.” Right next to that, it said “Put all these clues together and you can time travel!”

End

Bella

Bella's Poem

My secret is made from noise flame.
It slides through the buttery pan.
It is as cheesy as a cheese ball.
It can have great taste.

I found it at an ancient anchor down below.
There were 85 of them holding on to the anchor.

Some will float away.

Some will get slurped up.

My secret can turn invisible.
It can jump the Great Wall of China.
It can run a thousand miles per minute.

It eats 20 gigantic crispy meals a day.

If my secret gets lost
the whole universe will die.
They would be starving in the city.
They would die.

After-School Student Writing: Walt Disney Elementary

Take a look at some of the fabulous work our 2nd and 3rd grade students are cooking up in their after school classes at Walt Disney Elementary in San Ramon! 

 From Aarushi C:

*This excerpt came from a free-write that began “They only come out at night.”

They only came out at night. It’s the shiny beautiful stars. I look at the stars and see an A+. I saw a big fat bear. It looked like a dragon—big tail, a nose, and big feet. It was blocking a castle. A princess was on the top tower next to the one thousand towers. It was in the middle. The princess was wearing a blue dress and a purple crown in her long blonde hair. It looked like Rapunzel’s hair, except that it didn’t glow like hers. There was a white horse. Her name was Princess. She also had a silver crown.

From Freyana S: 

*This excerpt came from an activity where students observed and described everyday objects to an alien.

Hi, Alien! Do you know about books? You know, books help you learn, or they are really fun.

From Isabella C:

*This excerpt is from an activity called “From BLAH to TA-DAH” where students take a mundane sentence and rewrite it, or make a story out of it by adding descriptive details. Isabella's sentence was "The babysitter was angry."

My babysitter looked angry when my sister ate all the pizza. My sister was embarrassed. When we went to bed, my babysitter was in a bad mood so she took away my teddy bear. I was sad. 

The next day I went to school and one of the bullies was mean to me.  When I got home I was crying. My babysitter said, “What’s the matter?” I told her somebody was mean to me.

Finally, my big brother got home. He looked hot. He ran like 1,492 laps. Then we went to bed. My babysitter said, “Here’s your teddy bear back.”

I said,  “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I took it away from you.”

Then I went to bed. The next day we went to school. When we went home our babysitter made chocolate pudding and we tasted it. Then we went to bed. And she was gone the next day. My parents were back. I was so happy. 

*The next two excerpts are from a free-write that began “There was a strange noise, and when I opened the door…”.

From Jake D:

There was a strange noise, and when I opened the door I saw a lot of ... zombies, Scream, cheetahs, mummies, dragons, skeletons, witches, vampires, crazy-looking people, and invisible people, too. They were all creepy...I ran into my house real fast.

From Kailey C:

There was a strange noise, and when I opened the door I saw water with alligators and crocodiles, and snakes.  

From Kara L:

*This excerpt came from an activity where students took a simple sentence and turned it into a paragraph or story with lots of descriptive details.

Simple sentence: Mr. Apple was very mad.

Mr. Apple was mad because he had to move. When he walked into his new room, Mr Apple was really mad because his room was the worst. It had pink flowers that smelled like garbage, and a princess castle bed, and his room had lots of cracks in the walls...

From Keith H:

*This excerpt is from an activity called “What can you hear?” where the class sat outside and took notes on everything they could hear around them. Those notes were then used as details to include in a story or poem.

I heard a crow, a loud crow. But, I was saying, “Go away, crow!” It didn’t go away. I was wondering why the crow wasn’t scared of me.

 From Maison E:

*This excerpt came from an activity to encourage detailed description. Students observed and then described everyday objects as if they were describing them to an alien.

We began by making lists of our observations.

Backpack

• You use it every day
• You put stuff for school in it
• It can be red, blue, green, orange, yellow, purple, or rainbow
• It can be a character
• It can have numbers on it
• You can color on it

Lunchbox

• You put food in it
• You eat from it
• You can pack in it at home
• You can buy it at a store
• You can throw it away

 From Nathan M:

*This excerpt came from an activity where students wrote a poem by describing one memory or a collection of memories. 

I

remember

I made a paper

plane.

And seeing a

bunch of late ducks flying

in the air. And having a

water gun fight in the summer. And having

a party in the jungle. We danced in the jungle.

And playing games. And playing with

Teddy and Toto. And playing in the sand! And

Playing in the snow and doing snowboarding!!! 

From Olivia H:

*This excerpt is from an activity called the “I remember poem” where students chose one memory to write about, or make a poem out of lots of different memories. This was done on the first day of class as a way to start writing and get to know each other. 

I Remember 

I was in Six Flags when it was summer. I went on the best ride ever. I remember screaming so loud that two boys were looking at me like was crazy.

I remember looking at the biggest ride in Six Flags and wanting to go there.

I also remember my mom saying, “No, it is too big and dangerous because it goes upside down.” But it was OK because I got to see penguins. It was the best day ever.

What have "Take My Word For It!" kids been up to? Check out Walt Disney Elementary 4th & 5th grade:

Students in our after-school and community classes are exploring all the different ways writers generate ideas, and put captivating words on the page.

Here are more writing excerpts and photos of our young authors working with instructor, Marissa Bell Toffili at Walt Disney Elementary in San Ramon:

4th & 5th Grade:

By Alex

It was a dark, heavy wind. I was about to play baseball in the heavy wind. When I got outside, I could smell the heavy earth. So I went inside. I saw the dark clouds coming in. It started to rain. I could see yellow strikes of lightning. When the rain hit the ground, I could hear splats. The sky felt like it was getting mad at something. I could see the huge wind breaking the branches off of huge trees. I was very happy I was inside and not out.

By Andrew 

When I wake up during midnight,

I feel tired. I feel cranky,

I feel annoyed. I feel hungry.

Being woken up during midnight

is like being tortured.

Being awake during midnight

is like being in the middle of nowhere.

Being awake during midnight

is like being shocked.

By Christopher

I am from Black Ops

I am from Halo Reach

I am from baseball

I am from reading books

I am from the Gold Rush

I am from desserts

I am from the smell of Diritos

I am from the sound of splashing water

I am from the world of money

I am from Modern Warfare 2

I am from Call of Duty 4

I am from Xbox 360

I am from a sense of math

I am from the scents of sports

I am from video games

I am from the world of computers

I am from the wild

By Isaiah

The noise in the cafeteria was so loud it sounded like a basketball game when you hit the winning shot. WOOOOOOO! HAAA! Beeeee Quiet! is all that I heard. I just knew Steff was going to blow the whistle. I saw food gliding across the air. I could smell different food every second. I felt little pieces of food hit me. Beep. Beep, Beep, Beep. It was my annoying alarm clock! “Wait!” I woke up and glanced at my alarm clock. “I’m late!” I rushed to my parent’s. It’s 12:00. Now get up. No, it’s 12:00 at night. Then why did my alarm clock go off? I looked at my brother and he had a mysterious look on his face. “You’re so dead!” I chased him until he was cornered. My parents said, “Stop. Now. You both go back to bed.” The day after my alarm clock went off at 12:00, so I just slept in and it was 12:00 in the morning.

By Megan

I See the World

I see the lemon yellow sun

cracking from the door

I see the cherry blossoms

growing in the leaves

I see people playing

on the playground

I see groaning people

in the rain

I know the kids in class

are looking at me

I crave the strawberries

growing in the ground

I smell warm cookies

cooking in the night

I love blueberries

growing in the bushes

I know that my cat

is licking at night

By Nate

The rain came down hard like bombs were dropping. Outside looked like you were in a scary, creepy ghost tow. The rain felt like you were pushed and blown by the gods with their powerful muscular fists. Tastes like fresh water from god, coming fast like a bullet. It smells like nothing was there but water—H2O. It is not nice. Wide drops came down, making it look like small tears coming out of my green eyes. I don’t know how it’s sad by May. Is it the flowing rain or just me? When a kid, life is cheerful, happy, sunny, smiles, and joy, but when you’re older life falls off the sun and follows into the darkness of olderness, like you slip and something grabs you and you have no choice but to go down. Now the rain falls when sad things happen, even if it happened a year or more you still have that same thing in your lifetime, and death, no matter how small or big, that’s it.

By Shirin

The noise in the cafeteria blasted at my unprepared eardrums. I brushed the tables. Ow! The table vibrated so hard my hand vibrated too. I attempted to pick up my milk but a voice blasted at my ear, and Splash! My milk splashed on the bully. Ha! Serves her right after all these years. Finally the bell rings and it’s recess.

By Zoe

In the TV Screen

I look ahead and see my reflection

covered in black. It’s the darkest section.

I see a mirroring image of the room

with scratchy carpet swept with a broom.

My heart pumps, so concentrated.

We feel sort of trapped, like we’re gated.

In the shiny, dark image

I see myself, soft and timid.

Colored posters on the wall,

each are different from them all.

The lights are round on the screen

but rectangular above me.

It’s like a clone of our world

showing every boy and girl.

I see the room, I see me.

I am looking in the TV screen.

When it’s off it’s like a mirror,

but not as simple, not as clear.

What have "Take My Word For It!" kids been up to? Check out Walt Disney Elementary 2nd & 3rd grade:

Students in our after-school and community classes are exploring all the different ways writers generate ideas, and put captivating words on the page.

Here are writing excerpts and some photos of our young authors working with instructor, Marissa Bell Toffili at Walt Disney Elementary in San Ramon:

2nd & 3rd Grade:

By Angela

When I wake up, I am dark, but I have lots of light. I wake up, but I am lonely and quiet, but I imagine thousands of loud people talking. When I wake up, I am cold, but I smell freshly baked cookies and I feel the warm, toasty heat. When I wake up, I am tired, so I go back to sleep.

The sky is blue

the air is fresh.

And I am feeling wonderful

for the sky is a beautiful blue,

and the air is caked with

happiness.

By Bernie

Translation

Long ago, people did things differently. They did war for settling fights. Canada and Greenland did it the most. I was Greenland’s secret weapon. I was no regular man. I had wings. I also had a utility belt with grenades, pop bombs, machine guns, time bombs, pistols, and walkie talkies. I killed Canada with my army brethren and Greenland became big, big country. 

Tune in next time for the Adventures of the Flying Wonder.

By Chloe

The night was as dark as a cave. In the deepest darkest part of the night I feel like I am lonely. I feel scared because of all the shadows. I feel tired because of the day before. When I wake up in the morning, I am really, really, really tired. So, I go back to sleep.

It reminds me of taking a field trip to Sunol. It reminds me of stepping in leaves. It reminds me of a baby crying in a movie. It reminds me of my dad snoring in the night and being very hard to sleep. It reminds me of a wild crowd and a time I went to an A’s game. It sounds like a dog howling.

By Emmy

One morning I woke up and heard birds chirping. I saw the morning sky. I could feel my bed covers. It felt warm. When I got up, I could smell muffins baking in the kitchen. When I was in the kitchen my mom let taste the muffins. The muffins smelled so good. Then I looked outside and saw the cool breeze, and when I went outside I could feel it, too. I could tell it was going to be a very great day.

By Freyana

I reached into my pocket and found a tissue that reminds me of when I was wearing this jacket. I was very sick. I kept on walking to school. I found a butterfly. I chase it and then I looked at my watch and said, “I am late for school!!!”

This morning I woke up and decided I didn’t want to go to school anymore, so I packed my backpack and hit the open road. Then my dad drove by in the car. Then I went to Breakfast Book Club. After Breakfast Book Club, I went in line for school.

By Jack

I used to believe in vampires, but now I know they’re not real. But, I do believe in ghosts. So I got proof one night. On that night me and my friends Alex, Jimmy, and Nathan went to an abandoned hotel. When we first stepped into the hotel we all got a chill as a cold breeze came out of nowhere. So, as we walked in we heard a shriek and stopped in our tracks. Then we heard a voice out of nowhere and we were pushed down. And, we never went back again. For now…

By Kara

It’s exciting to see a flower, but not as exciting to see peace signs. It’s not that exciting to see a shoe in a tree and a shoe in your toilet. It’s not as good to see an eraser than it is to see a pencil. It’s not as exciting to see an eraser as a TV, and a chair as a pencil. It is exciting to see a shirt do your homework, and it is not that exciting to see a pencil lay there. It is exciting to see a garbage can do your chores and the out the garbage. It sounds loud. It shakes my whole house. Then the pencil finally made my bed. I think it is exciting to see a paper clip be your servant. I think it is exciting to see a $5 bill pay for your toy. It is exciting to see a chair roll you a notebook, but not that exciting to see a TV turn on when you want it to.

 

By Lauren

The rain came down hard. It splashed upon windows and made clear drips on them. It watered plants and created umbrellas everywhere. The sun was resting above the clouds where it clear and sunny.

But down below, the rain was coming sharp. It traveled through drains to oceans, or to a garden to a plant. Everything had clear drips on it. The ice-cold water made animals shiver. The clouds were as gray as steel. No rainbows or sun, yet.

By Nate

Long ago people did things differently. They had time machines. Cavemen had super rockets and visited Mars. They shook hands with Lady Gaga and saw my G-pa as a baby. One time, I saw a caveman in my room with a time machine and a picture of Mars and aliens. Then he turned invisible and was gone. In the morning, my head had a dent in it and it hurt like crazy. He came to school with me turned invisible and he helped with doing my math quiz and homework.

By Nicholas

The night was as dark as a black hole. I can sleep like a rock and not even a gunshot can awake me. I feel like I’m dead for 9 hours. And I feel like I’m in an atom because of a black hole.

If I were a wizard, I would make spells that would be so awesome everybody will be amazed. Spell one: Say “Bille” and 10 bazooka missiles will come out of your wand. Spell two: Say “Suruke” and a nuke will come out of your wand and only you can survive it.

By Sophia

The night is dark as some monster on fire chasing me. My favorite thing about my room is that it’s huge and safe. Outside my window I see some dog. They are coming in my window. The dogs are puppies. Their color is brown and they are very cute. They are nice and sweet and pretty. They have sparkles all over them. The sparkles are pink. There were many dogs. Then, poof!

By Taylor

I reached into my pocket and found stickers. Then I realized that they were all over me. It took me two hours to take off all of the stickers. Then I read for 30 minutes. Since I read for 30 minutes, I asked if I could play with my Wii. I was playing Super Mario Bros. I was stuck on world 7. I couldn’t complete the level because my brother kept on killing me.

By Zach

I am from a house

that smells like books.

I am from the wild that

smells like sweet sugar.

I am from somewhere in

a place of my great

imagination. I am from vanilla

ice cream. I am from the

fluffy clouds. I am from

a world of toys, imagination, and

greatness. I am from a world

of comfort, where everything is

pillows. I am from a place of

wonder. I am from a scary

place with ghosts. I am from

a great underwater place.

I am from a buffet.

Come Hear Our Young Writers Read Their Original Work!

In the next couple of weeks our talented writers will be showcasing some of the awesome writing they've been working on all Spring!

Look out for them at:

Musically Minded Academy (5776 Broadway, Oakland, CA 94618)

• Chabot Elementary: Tuesday, May 31st @ 5:30pm
• Crocker Highlands Elementary: Wednesday, June 1st @5:30pm
• Thornhill Elementary (2nd & 3rd-5th): Monday, June 6th @5:30pm
• Redwood Heights Elementary: Tuesday, June 7th @5:30pm
• The Young Writer's Lab: Thursday, June 9th @5:30pm

San Ramon (tentatively at Rakestraw Books)

• Walt Disney Elementary (2nd/3rd & 4th/5th): Tuesday, June 5th @ 5:30pm

Palo Alto

• El Carmelo Elementary: Thursday, May 26th @ 5:30pm

San Francisco

• Katherine Delmar Burke School: May 23rd @ 5:00pm
• Flynn Elementary: May 25th @ 5:30pm