Words from Our Young Authors at West Portal

This Winter at West Portal Elementary, we’ve been exploring the theme of “secrets” using a variety of writing exercises such as secret recipes, secret identities, and secret codes. Take a look!  

From an exercise where each student acted as a reporter and wrote a front page headline about their superhero and secret identity:

Blue Vulture in Town!

Last night the first national bank was robbed, but someone dressed as a vulture stopped the crime. Witnesses heard some fighting. The Blue Vulture punched a thug out the door. He nailed the second thug to the wall using his feathers. The last guy almost escaped. But the hero appeared in front of him. The police captured him. The hero kind of looked like Mike Lee, the reporter on the case!

-Skylar

From an exercise where each student choose a secret and expanded on it:

My dad is a secret agent

My dad secretly first goes to his secret lab and gets his gadgets. He was going to go to a crime scene but then his computer suddenly started beeping - there was a mission. Someone stole the Statue of Liberty! He dropped his water on the floor and suddenly left the base. He was on his way to New York - he was on time when the police were there. The criminal got away and the next day he came back to steal something else but then my dad caught him and sent him to jail!

-Bryan

From “Secret Recipes” where students create their own secret recipes using secret ingredients:

How to Make Weird Cake

How to Make Weird Cake

1. Take one hair.
2. Take one eyeball.
3. Add a piece of Butterfinger.
4. Make a piece of bone and put it in a soup.
5. Bake it.
6. When it’s done, take a knife and cut it.

-Stephanie

From an exercise where each student choose a secret and expanded on it in journal form:

The secret is: “a fairy lives in my room and sleeps under my bed”

Dear Journal,

I don’t like this fairy here. It’s very annoying because she’s talking all night. I want to tell my best friend Jenna, but I’m not sure what to say. The fairy’s curly hair keeps on tickling me. And her big teeth shine like the moon. Everywhere I go, she goes too. I feel worried about this thing here. I don’t really like the happiness that she gave me (or maybe it didn’t work.) I think I should make a trap. Then I’ll be very happy!

-Angel

From an exercise where each student acted as a reporter and wrote a front page headline about their superhero and secret identity:

Extra! Extra! Jump Up Girl Saves the Day!

Last night there was a bad guy. He went in to a spaceship and flew up into space. The space ship had a lot of money in it. But then the Jump Up Girl jumped into space. She can hold her breath for ten hours. So she jumped to space and pushed the spaceship down. Then the police came and arrested the bad guy.

-Zoe

Words from our Young Authors at West Portal Elementary

(from left:  Malia Yu, Nicole Gee, Kailey Sjauwfoekloy (top), Kayli Lam)

This session we have been working on the long-term project of writing a children’s story and while doing so are learning how to develop a plot, characters, dialogue and setting. Some of the excerpts below are from a brainstorming session we had about our story topics. There are also some pieces written from free write prompts and poems about our names.

"My name is..." poem:

My name is Malia

My name is made from iron

I found my name in the candy shop

My name can turn things into chocolate

If I lost my name I would look in the mountains, or in the trees

-Malia Yu

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

Once upon a time in liquid land a cup of water and oil were born. They were twin brothers. Water was named Walter and Oil was named Oscar. When Walter was 5 years old he had a nightmare where he imagined that him and Oscar went to the human world. Oil saw a fire and jumped into it. The fire burned faster and Walter heard a baby crying so Walter put out the fire. Oscar was very mad, he wanted the fire to burn the house until it was in ashes. Oscar found a measuring cup and jumped in so that it could be a shield. Walter jumped in too and he sank to the bottom while Oscar floated to the top.

-Nicole Gee

Free Write Prompts:

I didn’t tell my dad about the green monster I found at the bottom of the garden because it was just so friendly and I couldn’t bear to part with it. Knowing dad, he would call the museum or the paparazzi. All he wanted to get out of this was money. Mom, on the other hand, would take the monster and feed it. She’s a nature nut. Blair, my older sister, would scream and call the police. I was starting the love the monster and named it Sally.

 -Kailey Sjauwfoekloy

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

Once upon a time there was a family of turtles that lived in the Colorado River. The youngest turtle was named Jordan and the oldest turtle was named Jacob. They both hated each other. Almost every day the dad and mom had to get them out of a fight. Once, Jordan was washing his shell in the Colorado River and his shell disappeared. First he told his parents, friends, and siblings. He asked the skinny rainbow trout, “Do you know where my shell is? If you see it, can you get it without hitting it?” The trout looked all day and said, “No, I am very sorry that I did not see it.”

-Kayli Lam

Cara Yean (left) and Kaylee Tse (right)

Bedtime Brainstorm:

One sunny day, it wasn’t just any regular day, precisely on May 23, 2004, two slushies named Berry and Leafy were playing together. Berry was showing Leafy all of the items she got for Halloween: caramel, licorice, chocolates, lemon-heads and many more. Leafy began to grow jealous. She told Berry she had to visit the bathroom and ran home. Even though Berry kept shouting that there was a bathroom in the park, Leafy disregarded her. She burst into her house, ran up her stairs, and ran into her bedroom. Then Leafy pulled out some ice, a microscopic spoon and a silver can. She grabbed a woven basket and went into her garden where she picked the moldy cherries and ran back into her room.

-Cara Yean

Once upon a time there was a bowl of gummies and a bowl of fruit. One gummy and one fruit  ( a lemon) came alive and they started fighting about who tasted better. They found a person walking along the road. Then the lemon and gummy called out to the person and the person was staring at them like they were coo coo.

-Kaylee Tse

(From left to right- Preston Lau, Spencer Lo, Michael Huang)

My name is Preston

My name is made from a person

I found my name in a TV commercial

My name can spell STOP

If I lost my name I would be sad

-Preston Lau

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

One day, a normal day, it was Bob’s day on the job. Patrolling his base with his arrows shining in the glistening sun, he saw something. It was a fank! With the arrows and bow he cried for help. Just then, the fank fired deadly watermelon! Bob shut his eyes. He did not want to see the death when he shot the arrow at the watermelon. Bob decided to have a little snack as he got his knife and then ate a piece of watermelon. “Yum,” said Bob as ate it, “I think watermelon is my favorite fruit.” (to be continued.)

-Spencer Lo

Free write prompt: “I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see...”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see the horrifying sight. A gypsy was in my room. Two actually. They wore ugly dresses with warts and pimples. Both of them looked familiar! I quietly hid in the bedroom to think…and think…and think…I got it! They looked exactly like Bob II and Jeffrey, my friends from military school. I quickly grabbed a bottle filled with strange, blue liquid. I opened the door and the gypsies came in. Then, before they could cast a spell and turn me into a frog I poured the liquid. It quickly dissolved Bob II, but not Jeffrey...(to be continued.)

-Michael Huang

Check out Student Writing from West Portal Elementary!

Winter 2012 - West Portal Elementary

Jessica (Secrets on a Line): “One day, a girl named Kim was sleeping. She woke up in
the middle of the night and thought she heard a wolf howling. She ran out the door and
looked out to see nothing…around one, Kim heard it again…”

Caitlin and Jessica

Claudia Chiu (Secret Recipe): “…Jerry found this strange piece of paper in the
attic…He read the piece of paper and discovered that his grandfather won the noble
prize…A few years later, Jerry became a scientist and he created a potion to raise the
dead animals.”

Caitlin Huey (Secret Recipe): “One day when Sara was looking through her grandma’s
attic, she found a treasure box, she wondered what was inside…the whole day she was
searching for the key…she opened the box carefully…”

Reiley Johnson (Secret Recipe): “The story of the transformation potion was very
accidental. Once there was an evil wizard named Starzanda Silvia or S.S…He tried new
experiments all the time, so it wasn’t quite accidental…he mixed crazy things and they
always made a potion…”

Reiley and Erica

Erika Lee (Secret Recipe): “There once was a girl named Kayla. She liked cheese
pizza. She always thought there was too little tomato sauce.,,she thought of five
ingredients…finally got a secret recipe. Kayla called it the creamsauce...Kayla was happy
when she ate pizza and lived happily ever after.”

Megan Lenn (Secrets on a Line): “When I was 7 I loved going to bed late at night. I
heard a thumping in my closet. I thought I was going to die! I screamed and woke up my
whole family. They came into my room as fast as they could…”

Rolland Liao (Secret Recipe): “He headed towards the graveyard and poured it on 10
graves. Slowly the ground started to rumble and out came 10 fully grown people. Those
people were proof that Joe’s potion worked.”

Rolland and Anthony

Kailey Sjauwfoekloy (Secrets on a Line): “The only person that knows is my friend
Sophie. She’s in the same grade as me and doesn’t approve…but does care if the Pop-
Star-Ulars (PSU) make fun of me…”

Anthony Velasco (Secret Recipe): “In the 1900s when the US was at war almost all our
infantry was dead so this man made a chemical to bring the dead back to life. He tested it
on a dead guinea pig and it worked…”

Jayde and Kailey

Jayde Wong (Secret Recipe): “My days as a sorceress began when I found this recipe
tucked into the ruins of the historic museum. It was a healing potion, one of the rarest
potions in the world. I went into hiding…and spent 10 years working on the potion…”

After-School Student Writing: West Portal

Take a look at some of the work our after-school students have been cooking up at West Portal this fall!

Michael (What does it sound like?):

Scratch, scratchy, scratch dry leaf (paper towel)

People hitting a tin can (fork + grater)

Water dripping (maracas)

Lauren (Writing from Images + Photos):

Once upon a time there were two girls that wanted to see high from the sky. The girls name’s were Uma and Lauren…Uma filled 100 balloons with helium to make their machine fly higher.

Alexandra (Dictionary Wordplay: sniglet):

One day there was a snickering piglet. The other pigs couldn’t stop him. He only stops in October and begins again in November.

Kailey (What does it sound like?):

It sounds like an Indian rain dance or pattering rain. It has lots of rythym and even sounds like little beads in a jar. It brings me to a Mexican festival with laughing dancers (maracas).

Jessica (Writing from Images + Photos):

A mysterious woman with eyes and a sleeveless black dress with white snowflake designs. Her hair is short and she has black earrings. She is covered in plastic.

Reiley  (Writing from Images + Photos):

Tina Truman watched as the dragons flew North for the winter. Fire throat, the queen of the dragons guided them. Her large black tail followed her.

Nathan (Writing from Images + Photos):

Once upon a time, a farmer was staring blankly at the sun. Behind his field there were houses and many trees. Later that day, the farmer was still looking blankly at the sun…Around 3:15pm, the farmer yelled, “Where are my crops?”

Vivian (Writing from Images + Photos)

They had raised the dragon since they found her in a hole in a tree. Since she started flying she loved to fly high in the sky so they named her Sky.

Lauren (My happiness tastes like…):

My happiness tastes like a sweet cupcake and smells like a gigantic bowl of strawberry ice cream. I would eat where my happiness wants to stay.

Carrie (List Making: What would you bring to outerspace?):

1. Food and Junk Food
2. My bike to ride in the air
3. My mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, a toilet, my teddy bear and an extra space suit.
4.  Pizza

Jayde (Dictionary Wordplay: Collop):

The colloplet floated around for a suitable home. It had already passed a polluted river, a trash-filled lake, and a blazing, fiery hot creek…it finally reached the cool river.

Ryan (Writing from Images + Photos):

The fox was nimble and got to the truck and hid himself in the sunset of the scorching, sandy desert. 

Anya (Dictionary Wordplay: Okeechobee):

An awkward veggie that smells like onion, tastes like chicken, looks like artichokes and feels like a bubbles.

Neil (If I had one wish…):

I wish to invent a genie generator in two minutes so I can get unlimited wishes or change the way the world works.

Shawn (Story Starter):

There was a boy named James and he had a pet platypus. They went to prison for stealing platypus food from a pet store…The prison was underwater with a giant bubble around it…

Rolland (Dictionary Wordplay: Kenspeckle, Odontoid)

There was once a kenspeckle named Bob. He was threatened by a pig who knows how to use odontoids. The pig wanted money and kept bothering the kenspeckle.

Brandon (If I had one wish…):

He went into a weird factory and saw huge jars filled with liquid. Each Jar had a name on it. The scientist said, “You may taste these jars. These jars contain happiness…”

Christopher (Dictionary Wordplay) 

            Another Universe (kenspeckle)

            An ancient Samurai (odontoid)

            “Thank you” in an alien language (okeechobee)

            A baby slug (syllabub)

Nathan (Freewrite: of their choice)

I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. But when I looked around my room, I realized that things were not what they seemed.

Edison (Writing from Images + Photos)

Once, a man wanted to make the world happy. He dropped a penny from Mount Everest. The penny went 900 mph!