Words from our Young Writers at Sunset Elementary

This session we have been working on the long-term project of writing a children’s story and while doing so are learning how to develop a plot, characters, dialogue and setting. Some of the excerpts below are from a brainstorming session we had about our story topics. There are also some pieces written from free write prompts and poems about our names.  

Marissa Holmes (left) and Khulan Myagmarsuren (right)

My Name Is...” poem

My name is Marissa

My name is made from the sea

I found my name in my mom’s tummy

My name can be in my mom’s head

If I lost my name I would keep looking for it in a storm sky.

-Marissa

Prompt: Students selected ten words from a list of thirty and had to write poems with these ten words in them, adding additional words if they liked.

Prompt: If I was as tiny as an ant…

If I was as tiny as an art, I would have a butterfly for a pet because you can use it for a vehicle. I will also have the biggest tree house of the rainforest. I would have three friends, the ladybug, caterpillar and the ladybug. They love to play with feathers and balls and bounce on the trampoline. One day they went on an adventure to the seashore. It was nice because they made friends with a crab.

-Khulan

Leilani (left) Cara (right)

Prompt:

My name is…

My name is made from…

I found my name in…

My name can be…

If I lost my name…

My name is Leilani

My name is made from my mom and my dad

I found my name in Hawaii and my mom

My name can tell something about Hawaii my mom and I

If I lost my name I could still know my full name

-Leilani

Prompt: Students selected ten words from a list of thirty and had to write poems with these ten words in them, adding additional words if they liked.

To find purple tiger bones

Shake glitter on glitter ribbons

Shake circle snow,

Then the rain washes it away.

Kiss money while looking

at wet violin,

Dance in a puddle

That looks like a river.

-Cara

Bridgette

Bedtime Story Brainstorm

Hello Kitty went to the mall and all the gifts were wrapped in shiny gold and silver paper. She didn’t buy anything, but went outside and saw Santa on his sleigh. Santa asked, “Do you want to ride a sleigh and give out presents?” Then a ghost came and got all the presents from Santa just as Hello Kitty was about to say yes. Hello Kitty tried to help Santa to get the ghost, but the ghost said, “Don’t hit me, I am a friendly ghost.”

-Bridgette

Koen (left) and Kolby (right)

"My Name is..." Poem

My name is Koen

My name is made from my mom’s brain

I found my name in the black hole

My name could wake up flowers

If I lost my name I would make Earth stop turning and the planets stop turning

-Koen

Bedtime Story Brainstorm

Once there was a person named Jack Furry. He was an inventor. When he read a book about heroes, he wanted to become one so he made a suit of armor for himself. He became the town hero and fought many bad guys. One day when he was fighting bad guys, aliens invaded. They called themselves Team Rocket. There were too many of them so he surrendered.

-Kolby

Spencer

Bedtime Story Brainstorm

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see someone put a make it alive spell on a 900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 year old Egyptian mummy. It looked like a Halloween scene but it was real. It was a real haunted house and it had a hospital and relaxing room.

-Spencer

Jennifer (left) and Natalia (right)

"My Name Is..." Poem 

My name is Jennifer

My name is made from far away

I found my name on a tree

My name can do math

If I lost my name I would find it back from another place in the world

-Jennifer

My name is Natalia

My name is made from my mom’s and dad’s dream

I found my name in my Brazil grandma’s dream

My name can be the best in the world

If I lost my name I will still remember.

-Natalia

Words from our Young Authors at West Portal Elementary

(from left:  Malia Yu, Nicole Gee, Kailey Sjauwfoekloy (top), Kayli Lam)

This session we have been working on the long-term project of writing a children’s story and while doing so are learning how to develop a plot, characters, dialogue and setting. Some of the excerpts below are from a brainstorming session we had about our story topics. There are also some pieces written from free write prompts and poems about our names.

"My name is..." poem:

My name is Malia

My name is made from iron

I found my name in the candy shop

My name can turn things into chocolate

If I lost my name I would look in the mountains, or in the trees

-Malia Yu

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

Once upon a time in liquid land a cup of water and oil were born. They were twin brothers. Water was named Walter and Oil was named Oscar. When Walter was 5 years old he had a nightmare where he imagined that him and Oscar went to the human world. Oil saw a fire and jumped into it. The fire burned faster and Walter heard a baby crying so Walter put out the fire. Oscar was very mad, he wanted the fire to burn the house until it was in ashes. Oscar found a measuring cup and jumped in so that it could be a shield. Walter jumped in too and he sank to the bottom while Oscar floated to the top.

-Nicole Gee

Free Write Prompts:

I didn’t tell my dad about the green monster I found at the bottom of the garden because it was just so friendly and I couldn’t bear to part with it. Knowing dad, he would call the museum or the paparazzi. All he wanted to get out of this was money. Mom, on the other hand, would take the monster and feed it. She’s a nature nut. Blair, my older sister, would scream and call the police. I was starting the love the monster and named it Sally.

 -Kailey Sjauwfoekloy

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

Once upon a time there was a family of turtles that lived in the Colorado River. The youngest turtle was named Jordan and the oldest turtle was named Jacob. They both hated each other. Almost every day the dad and mom had to get them out of a fight. Once, Jordan was washing his shell in the Colorado River and his shell disappeared. First he told his parents, friends, and siblings. He asked the skinny rainbow trout, “Do you know where my shell is? If you see it, can you get it without hitting it?” The trout looked all day and said, “No, I am very sorry that I did not see it.”

-Kayli Lam

Cara Yean (left) and Kaylee Tse (right)

Bedtime Brainstorm:

One sunny day, it wasn’t just any regular day, precisely on May 23, 2004, two slushies named Berry and Leafy were playing together. Berry was showing Leafy all of the items she got for Halloween: caramel, licorice, chocolates, lemon-heads and many more. Leafy began to grow jealous. She told Berry she had to visit the bathroom and ran home. Even though Berry kept shouting that there was a bathroom in the park, Leafy disregarded her. She burst into her house, ran up her stairs, and ran into her bedroom. Then Leafy pulled out some ice, a microscopic spoon and a silver can. She grabbed a woven basket and went into her garden where she picked the moldy cherries and ran back into her room.

-Cara Yean

Once upon a time there was a bowl of gummies and a bowl of fruit. One gummy and one fruit  ( a lemon) came alive and they started fighting about who tasted better. They found a person walking along the road. Then the lemon and gummy called out to the person and the person was staring at them like they were coo coo.

-Kaylee Tse

(From left to right- Preston Lau, Spencer Lo, Michael Huang)

My name is Preston

My name is made from a person

I found my name in a TV commercial

My name can spell STOP

If I lost my name I would be sad

-Preston Lau

Bedtime Story Brainstorm:

One day, a normal day, it was Bob’s day on the job. Patrolling his base with his arrows shining in the glistening sun, he saw something. It was a fank! With the arrows and bow he cried for help. Just then, the fank fired deadly watermelon! Bob shut his eyes. He did not want to see the death when he shot the arrow at the watermelon. Bob decided to have a little snack as he got his knife and then ate a piece of watermelon. “Yum,” said Bob as ate it, “I think watermelon is my favorite fruit.” (to be continued.)

-Spencer Lo

Free write prompt: “I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see...”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see the horrifying sight. A gypsy was in my room. Two actually. They wore ugly dresses with warts and pimples. Both of them looked familiar! I quietly hid in the bedroom to think…and think…and think…I got it! They looked exactly like Bob II and Jeffrey, my friends from military school. I quickly grabbed a bottle filled with strange, blue liquid. I opened the door and the gypsies came in. Then, before they could cast a spell and turn me into a frog I poured the liquid. It quickly dissolved Bob II, but not Jeffrey...(to be continued.)

-Michael Huang

Words from our Young Writers at Grattan Elementary!

 

Back row (left to right): Cecilia, Emma, Keegan

Middle row: Wai-Kirn, Lukas, Jackson, Sam

Front row: Leila, Bridget

This piece was based images of "Flights of Fancy". Cecilia chose a photo of a small boy standing on a rock precise overlooking a castle in through the clouds in the distance.

The flying castle is the dream that every kid has inside. But once kids forget, or give up their dreams, it will disappear. So every kid should have a night to make their own dreams come true.

-Cecilia Mali

For this assignment the students were asked to personify an emotion:

My sadness was made by horror and anger melted together. I found my sadness in a house filled with dust and dirt. My sadness can blow away happiness and hope. If I lost my sadness I would not look anywhere, for I could regain my Happiness and hope.

-Jackson Cooley

For this assignment the class worked up a list of things that “fly” and the students choose one of the those to write about:

Push on the ground

Obstacles no

Light on ice

Are they crazy? No

Right on the ball

Bright maybe

Easy, not really

Another flight

Reaching, paw after paw

Sliding along

Fly somewhere

Light flying, not light walking

Yield, no way

 -Leila Hennessy

I fall through the air like a girl in a ballet dress flying off a cliff—imagine a woosh of pink, and a scream as high-pitched as a dolphin squeak!

 -Luckas Bacho

For this assignment the students used personification to present their names, and themselves:

My name is made from flowers I’m not allergic to.

I found my name floating in the sky of blue.

If I lost my name I would look in a giraffe’s throat,

Or maybe on a boat;

I might even look in a rootbeer float.

-Bridget Martin

My name is made from my history, all mixed and mashed into a stew pot. My name can be short or long, it can defeat any obstacle in its way.

-Sam Ofman

My name is Wai-Kirn as you may know. If it were lost I would know. I would search the seas from home to yonder grand. I’d find it somewhere in the sand.

 -Wai-Kirn Macaraeg

For this assignment the students were given the prompt, “This morning I packed my backpack, and instead of going to school, I hit the open road.” They were asked to complete the story:

 The Grim Tale of Me

The wind blew in my face as Marty, Thompson, and I flew down the highway on our bikes. We could see cars and giant buildings. It felt good. We peered around the all the streets, but they didn’t look normal, they looked small. It felt as if I were the king of the world, and the streets were my minions.

 -Keegan Boyd

This was a series of answers to questions about what it may be like for a bee to fly, and worked into a poem:

Like walking is to humans.

Hard winding danger.

The wind and the buzzing of my wings. 

 -Emma Bethel

November's Teacher Spotlight

TMWFI instructor Melissa Bell Toffoli has been teaching with us for 2 years. In addition to her role encouraging young writers, she's a poet and a blogger. In March 2010 she began publishing interviews with writers, and officially launched a blog in July of that same year called Words With Writers fueled by her interest in what writers are working on, how they think about writing, and how writing fits in their lives.

Marissa Bell Toffoli

Currently working at: Chabot Elementary

Hometown: Berkeley, CA

What’s one of your favorite TMWFI moments? Writing “I am From” and “I Remember” poems with my students.

What’s your favorite VERB? Write. Okay, that’s too easy. Here’s another: observe.

Did a teacher inspire you to be a writer? How? Many teachers inspired me in various ways, but I can’t think of one that specifically made me want to become a writer. At least not until college, but then those were my professors in writing and English courses and I was already actively working on creative writing. Perhaps, the best teachers for me in this way were my parents. They read books with me; they told me stories about their own lives; they helped me write my own stories before I could write for myself; they introduced me to the world of puns; they were a source of support and encouragement. I have always loved stories--reading them, listening to them, watching them unfold on stage or screen. Growing up, I enjoyed show-not-tell writing exercises and kept the books I made in elementary school classes. Words and writing have always been there as something that I could both lose myself in and find myself in, something worth working on, worth observing.

If your life was a book, what would be the title? Lacework

What’s your favorite bookstore? Rakestraw Books in Danville, CA

Happy Halloween!

A Halloween Poem by Luke of Joaquin Miller Elementary

Earthquakes and fire I don’t desire.

I am not scared.

Old clocks that tick tock and creaky heaters,

Evil people who are brain-eaters.

I am not scared.

Spiders that are creepy,

Babies who are weeping.

I am not scared.

Some things are not scary,

Like a really mean fairy,

Bugs and mummies,

Bears and bunnies.

I am not scared.

Cats and bats and giant rats,

They’ll come alive and eat my insides.

I am not scared.

I am not scared.

Walt Disney Elementary - Creative Writing Excerpts!

Aarushi

Creeeek...I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night screaming AAAAA!

But when I got out of bed I heard a noise downstairs. I tiptoed to the bottom of the steps and I saw the fridge open and the tomato sauce was out and the mustard. And the radishes, cucumbers, lettuce, and the ice, and everything was out.

All the food started moving. They started fighting. The ketchup squirted everything. Then the blue police potatoes said “Clean up!” because it was morning. Then my mom came and said “Did you clean the kitchen?”  That was a mystery.

Maison

My name is Maison and I am in my secret hideout where I found a dinosaur book. This is the story.

I don't know if I can time travel. Can you help me? You see, right now you are on a hill. Ah! There's a dinosaur here!!!!

“Oh, hi Maison,” came a voice form the dinosaur. It's a girl. She has a secret name but nobody knows; her name is Meeeeeeee. Meeeeeeee can give me a ride to the talking rock. The talking rock can tell me the answer to everything but all he said was “Look down for a cool clue.”

I looked down, found a clue, read it, and it said “You.” That's it. Then I fell into a bush. And guess where the next clue was? Right beside  me and it said “can time.”

 “That's confusing,” I said. So I got out of the bush and suddenly I found a cave. I looked inside and there was the third clue. It said “travel.” Right next to that, it said “Put all these clues together and you can time travel!”

End

Bella

Bella's Poem

My secret is made from noise flame.
It slides through the buttery pan.
It is as cheesy as a cheese ball.
It can have great taste.

I found it at an ancient anchor down below.
There were 85 of them holding on to the anchor.

Some will float away.

Some will get slurped up.

My secret can turn invisible.
It can jump the Great Wall of China.
It can run a thousand miles per minute.

It eats 20 gigantic crispy meals a day.

If my secret gets lost
the whole universe will die.
They would be starving in the city.
They would die.