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Fun Excerpts from our Thornhill Elementary Writers!

This spring TMWFI's been exploring the many ways writers get their ideas. We’ve discussed the many meanings of treasure and found inspiration in all sorts of places, from long lost twins to just looking in our pockets, we’ve found treasures everywhere!

From the prompt “I reached inside my pocket...”

I reached inside my pocket and found 3 paper clips, 2 lint balls, 5 million dollars, a toy dog, a piece of paper, and...wait, what?! Ok go back two things in my pocket. A piece of paper, a toy dog, and what?! 5 million dollars! Oh wait, it’s only $5, keep going. An eraser, 2 pencils, 10 staples, my homework, my favorite book, and my dog?!...

-Olivia

I reached inside my pocket and I found a carrot. A golden carrot. It was a weird no-good carrot! I bit into it and then Poooofff! I could see blackness. Bark, bleak, black, but then I saw a rainbow and I crashed into it, but then I was in the rainbow. It was like a tube with all the colors of the rainbow inside and outside. When I reached into my pocket again I found at least 20 of these golden carrots. I just wondered how to get out of this rainbow.

-Jamie

I reached inside my pocket and found a watch ticking like there’s no tomorrow. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I reached a little deeper and found a pencil no bigger than an inch. I found a shiny pink eraser, but it was worn away at the edges. An old map of the NY subway trains. A coupon for pizza. A stick of spearmint gum, A mini map of the world.  A stick of lip balm. And an everlasting gobstopper.

-Sidney

I reached inside my pocket and found a paperclip, toenail, cootie catcher, an apple core, and well, finally, a million dollar check from Brad Smelly Pitts! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And a ticket winner for the 33 million dollar Lotto Lottery! I’m stinkin’ darn rich, and I literally mean it! I’m darn stinky and I’m darn rich! Which equals stinkin’ darn rich!

-Parsa

I stumbled through the quiet streets of Pennsylvania. My hand slid inside my pocket hoping to feel the comforting feeling of my compus, but instead all I feel is cold air. That’s when I fall to the sidewalk trembling. The last precious thing, the last piece of my parents is gone...

-Grace

From You Name It, We’ve Found It (Create a story in which something is lost in a caband someone else finds it.)

My book was getting good, really good. I was lost and the swaying of the taxi cab calmed my restless mind. Hours passed though it felt like minutes and when I looked up Prudence and my dad were gone. Panic filled my heart. “Excuse me!” I called to the driver of the cab.

“Faithful, darling Faithful, is that really you?” I almost doubled over in shock. How did this person know my name?

-Lauren

My icy blue eyes darted from Faithful to Mercy. I hated shopping with dad, especially since he floated down the aisle like a careless jerk. Try on this, buy that, go to aisle thirteen =’s absolute annoyance. The good thing was is that it gave me extra time to daydream. The faint eclipse of memories of my mother floated lifelessly like ghosts through a haunted inn in my black mind. I remember the strongest memory of them all. My worst nightmares were not of vampires and ghosts. It was losing my sister.

-Anneke

From My Name Is...Mad Libs variation

My name is Hurricane.

My name is made from stormy goo.

I found my name in pickle town.

My name can shape shift.

It reminds me of pandas. -Gulzar

My name is made from the dark depths of the cold sea and the blaring sun reflecting off tall overpowering skyscrapers of the wonderful city.

-Mitch

My name is stormy.

My name is made from poofy tigers.

I found my name in Atlanta.

My name can turn invisible.

It reminds me of hairy guinea pigs.

-Michela

From What is treasure? (Write a story about the treasured object you have chosen.)

Hello there! I am Peter Panda, No, not Peter the Panda. Petter Panda, I am a panda, like it says in my name. My best friend is Kitty. And yes, she is a girl. I am black and white, like pandas always are. Kitty is all white. Right now I jut took a shower (in the washing machine?!) and smell all soapy. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I am a stuffie (or stuffed animal). I am going to tell you about one of the most exciting days of my life.

-Gwen

Charles Eeast. The label read Charles Eeast. It was engraved in black ink and covered in black soot and ash. The object was well camouflaged in the darkness of night on the barren landscape where wars were fought, where hatred engulfed this saddened landscape. A fallen soldier, perhaps an innocent killed by unsatisfied men demanding death. Charles W. Eeast must have been the cause of this object. By watching with curiosity in his soul, probably watching the battle with this object. Now as I hold the object, uncertain of its value and purpose to the world as we know it, I search my mind like a hawk. Memories upon memories. When I find what I am holding, realization washes over me and I know I’m holding an ancient pair of binoculars.

-Maxwell

From the prompt: Your main character has lost an object and is searching desperately for it. One day they come across the Museum of Found Objects...

Hey wait there’s my stuffy fluffy. I need to get that back! Hey mister manager guy, give me my stuffy back. I need it now. The manager said, Get away you fiend! With my jaw wide open I say, “Who you calling fiend?” He calls security and they toss my outside. So they want to play dirty. Well two can play at that game.

-Robert

From the prompt: Your main character is a thief and plans to break into the Museumof Found Objects to get this object...

Ella Herperson the thief who stole the Eiffel Tower. “Everybody is talking about her!” Sasha Mello said. Everyday Sasha heard people talk about her after the crime happened two months ago. Sasha secretly knew Ella Herperson and actually Sasha and Ella were best friends.

-Ava

From: Write a story about if you had a long lost twin.

Score!!! I just scored the winning goal in the high school championship. As my teammates tackle me, I fall to the ground with pride. This is my daily life: school, football/soccer (whatever you Americans call it), and sleep. That’s pretty much it. Well, except for a couple of meals here and there and some other minor events.

-Sophie

MondayThornhill

(Thornhill Elementary, Grades 3-5, Teacher: Emily Phillips)

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Words from Our Young Authors at Oakton Elementary, Grades 3-6

This session in our What A Mystery! curriculum we solved mysteries through writing! Our class was all about suspense, problem-solving, and finding clues. No small detail gets past this class!

 

From: Grab Your Reader by the Hook

Computer Trouble

I thought it was just a glitch in my computer. But that was yesterday before I discovered that my computer was alive! … My computer is amazing now that it is alive! For instance, I don’t bother looking at my homework because I have a walking, talking super computer with arms, literally! So it just does the homework for me while I study or watch a movie…The next day I got an F on my homework! “What?” I exclaimed… Then I remembered my brother knew my password….

- Ian

 

When it Happened

I didn’t know how it happened, I didn’t know why it happened, I just knew when it happened. It was a cool breezy day when the incident occurred. I felt a chilling feeling up my spine when I saw the shadowy figure walking down the alley at exactly 1:45 AM. I knew the witness, but the victim was still a mystery.

“I wonder,” I thought to myself as a cool breeze brushed against my face. “I wonder why?”

- Ava

 

From: Beginning, Middle, and End Activity: Beginning - Characters are introduced and the reader learns about the problem, Middle - Detectives work to solve the mystery by interviewing suspects and gathering clues, End - The mystery is solved...

The Legend Of Edward I

There was once a boy named Edward Prestly. He had a mom, a dad, a younger brother named Elvis Prestly, and an older sister named Gracie Prestly. They all lived in a mansion. Edward had a secret: Whenever he reads his sister’s diary, monsters and other creatures come out. If he tells anyone, all of the things come out and attack the person he told!

- Bayan

 

 

From: Who, What, When, Where, Why

Mystery Story

I got an eerie feeling when I heard the booms and crashes of about 5 cars that mysteriously stopped suddenly. I stepped outside, it was misty, a police officer was already there. He had bright red eyes when he asked me my name.

- Nataly

Locked

We were in the teacher’s lounge when the lights went out. We waited for the generator to turn the lights back on, but they never did. We all rushed to the door (all of us except Miss M&M, because she didn’t know). The door was locked! Then the clock raced backward as fast as light! Then the door opened simultaneously. We rushed through to the front door of the school, but it was locked too. A realization dawned on us, we were all alone here.

- Brenna

The Robbery

I couldn’t believe what I had just seen and it was coming back! One night at 2:00 AM on June 3rd a person walked by London Bank #243. He looked gloomy. I tried to keep my eyes from drifting to see his face, but I just couldn’t keep them straight. He looked at me. An alarming shiver flew down my spine. He walked into the bank, but took out a card that wasn’t from the bank. I thought about the bank robbery that happened last week.

- Devon

Detective Pudgy and the Case of the Missing Jackpot of One Million Wombats

Suddenly, Detective Pudgy woke up in the middle of the night! He had had a terrifying dream. But then he heard a horrified squeak followed by an evil laugh. A chill ran down his back. He jumped out of bed and ran toward where he though the noise was coming from. It was dark, but D. Pudgy could just make out a small car driving away from Dr. Chubby’s house. He went up and knocked. He waited five minutes, but no one answered.

- Sophie

The Tunnel

Once upon a time, there was a boy named John Pine who found a hole in his back yard. He had no clue what it was. He threw a rock into the hole but didn’t hear it hit the ground.

“That’s weird,” he said out loud.

Then his mom called him in for dinner. As he was washing his hands he heard about a crime on the news. Someone called The Tunnerler had been robbing banks all over the country!

- Charlie

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The Fluffy Panda Song

Panda  

You think I'm so scary but seriously I can be nice I'm black and white just like a dice. You think I'm a tuffy but I'm really fluffy.

I sqweel when I'm excited it's real don't just recite it. You think I'm a tuffy but I'm really fluffy.

Don't test me the police might arrest me. You think I'm a tuffy but really I'm fluffy.

Not that they would arrest me right they would run away with lots of fear. You think I'm a tuffy but really I'm fluffy.

I have longed for a bamboo bow and arrow but the only person who would have that is a Farrow. You think I'm a tuffy but really I'm fluffy.

I'm a panda that's right come close I don't bite.

-Sophie, Thornhill Elementary

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Gabby's Sunglasses Are Lost and Found

Sunglasses I'm chillin' at the beach. I brought everything, you're at reach. As the sunbeams glow right into my eyes, I thought I would be prepared for this surprise.

I reach inside my sunglasses case...My sunglasses! I don't see them! To my face I get off my chair, I started to get frantic. I thought to myself, "It's okay, just don't panic."

Well, I did exactly what I just thought of. But cut me some slack! What I paid for those glasses sure was a lot! I started looking under various things, like under big rocks, small pebbles, starfish, and rotten old socks!

As I itch my head thinking, "Where else could they be?" I feel behind my ear, this I feel but can't see, I realize that I had been searching for these sunglasses like my life depended on it But all this time, they had been on my head.

-Gabby, Thornhill Elementary

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Words From Our Young Authors at Grattan Elementary

This session the students worked on character and plot. They learned to make use of each of their five senses as a source of inspiration. The students did listening activities that led to poems, worked collaboratively to interpret photos, and used details from their own lives - both mundane and personal - as details to enhance character. See sa couple of the excerpts below!  

From a photograph of a Scarecrow dressed in a fine suit and hanging in a cornfield:

Ballad of the Scarecrow in a suit.

I am a scarecrow. It’s a lot harder than it seems. For one, it’s a pain in the neck to re-stuff yourself everyday. Oh and, hey, wait, please don’t leave. I’m not going to complain the entire time. Maybe ten percent, but not more. Besides, I’m getting off topic, and before I do, I should tell you about my appearance. No really, it’s essential to the story. Like I said, I’m a Scarecrow, an average Joe, straw-filled, rough, canvas skin. But it’s the outfit that really catches people’s eye. I can see you’re filled to the brim with questions, and being the Scarecrow that I am, I am happy to answer them.

-Sam

 

I am supposed to be scary. But not that anyone thinks I am. Everyone thinks I’m funny. It makes me sad. I hope someone will understand.

-Estella

 

From an exercise in collaboration called the exquisite corpse, where the kids each  wrote a line of the story, without having seen the line that came before:

Bob R. Greedy

Bob R. Greedy Planned to smuggle a bald eagle into Spain. At the top of the Empire State building. In the middle of 223 BC. Because of the atomic matter in your mother’s favorite teapot. But she became so excited that she drowned. And this caused the cow to run circles around them.

-Adam

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Words from Our Young Authors at Joaquin Miller

This session, our theme was Treasure and Found Objects. We explored all kinds of concepts, from different types of treasure to how found objects can create poetry.

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

Treasure in Mural Park

You walk to your car, get in, and start the engine. You drive around and see a homeless person on the street. You get out, after parking, and confront him. You take out your wallet and just as you're about to give $30 to this poor person, he gets up, takes your wallet, and runs. You chase him, then trip on a tree branch poking out of the sidewalk cement on 5th Avenue in Goldsberry, Texas. You fall, holding your fist up and yelling, "You'll pay for that!"

The homeless person laughs and keeps running. A piece of paper flies out of his pocket, and you wonder what it is. As you go to pick it up, you thank yourself for once: "I am so glad I only put money in there, not any cards or receipts!" When you finally get to the paper, you find it is a map of Mural Park -- a treasure map, in fact. It shows the south end of the park, with the mountain mural, the ducks, and the pond. There is a big yellow X right above the mountains in the picture, on the right-hand side. You also see a bright orange trail running right through the middle.

You decide to go check it out, and you hop back into your car. You know how to get to the park from the years you spent with your children before they went with your sister Aggie. While you drive, you start to cry thinking about the time you spent with your kids.

When you get to the park, you notice that there are only six other people in the whole south end. You wonder why, then get out of your car and ask around.

The first person you encounter, a young student from the University, says, "It has been like this since the flash." You look confused, and he sighs and pulls out a paper from his backpack. You take it and see it is a newspaper with the caption, "Fire Flash Striked Mural Park." You keep reading...

-Olivia

 

From Word Scavenger Hunt - an exercise where we explored the possibilities of imagery and descriptive language by doing a “reverse” scavenger hunt. The instructor provided the object, and students provided descriptive clues.

Brussel Sprouts

My brussel sprouts are sitting on my white, reflective plate. They are watching me, I swear. Those puke-green, repulsive-tasting, poison-carrying vegetables. They just had to be on my plate. Brussel sprouts. Code name for some cold-hearted stuff that couldn't be edible, meant to demolish a kid's happiness, not to mention dinner.

-Luke

 

From What Is Treasure? Creating plot and answering the 5 W’s to describe different kinds of treasures.

The Million Dollar Dress

I was walking across the foggy road, then I suddenly tripped over a log and fell into a revolting mud puddle. I shrieked, because my million dollar gown was ruined. I was so frustrated, because I was supposed to go to the ball, and now I had to return to my castle and clean my gown. There was no way I could change because my father wanted me to wear this specific dress. He'd said: "My mother wore this dress to her first ball; now you must wear it to yours."

I raced into the nearest taxi cab, and it was full of germs and terrible smells. I arrived back at the castle and asked our maid Mildred to clean the dress. She said there was absolutely no way anyone could get it clean. Without any other choice, I would have to wear a different dress.

To be continued...

-Morgan

 

From The Museum of Found Objects - students created their own “exhibit” of found objects and chose one to write a story about.

Fry Dude

Hi, my name is French Fry. You can just call me Fry Dude for short. I have this jelly-filled doughnut that I bought this morning, and this is my story.

2 Days Later

"Help! Help! I lost my doughnut! Do something to help my precious jelly-filled doughnut." I called 911 and said, "I've lost my jelly-filled doughnut." Seconds later, the SWAT team showed up. "Okay, what is it?" they said. "I lost my jelly-filled doughnut!" I said. Then it felt as if time froze like ice.

3 Hours Later

I woke up in a dark room with an incredibly soggy jail suit on. I stood up to the sight of puddles everywhere, a tiny window with bars, and a battered army cot on the uneven concrete. Thud, thud. I heard pounding on the door. They pulled me out of the jail cell, and the world seemed different. I saw a sign with a date on it: the year 2026. Weird, I thought to myself, and scratched my beard. Wait a minute, I never had a beard...

To be continued... 

-Gavin

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

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"I'm not going to make it bos-"

That was it. Another man down. Many people had tried to get the treasure, and many had failed. So a treasure association was built. They hired people who had found treasure in Colorado. They hired a specialist in mapping. That specialist was you.

To be continued... 

-Marco

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

To Find My Way Through

You're standing in your great-grandpa's rusty, dusty, and old-smelling attic. Man! There is so much stuff up here, with old boxes that must be from the sixties. But one box catches your eye: it is labeled MAPS. It's much dirtier than the other boxes, so you think it must be super old. As you look inside, there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of maps. More maps than you can carry. One out of all of them catches your eye. It has green, plush trees and beautiful mountains. You can hardly make out the squinty little handwriting, but you think it says Owl Landia, home of the owls. You absolutely love owls, so you say, "I wish I could go there!"

The world jumbles and fumbles, twists and turns. You finally find yourself upon green, plush trees and beautiful mountains. Everything around you is beautiful, and you think to yourself, "I must be in Owl Landia!"

To be continued...

-Julia

 

From You Name It, We’ve Found It - an exercise where students learned about a NYC company that reunites people with items lost in taxi cabs, then wrote stories from the point of view of the taxi driver and passenger.

Ski Mask Switch

1. Joe

Hi, my name is Joe. This is an old tale, about two years old. I was doing my usual route and a man jumped into my cab and said, "Step on it! Time Square!" So I drove, and he said drive faster, so I did. When I pulled up to Times Square, he handed me two dollars and jumped out. "You're going to need more than $2 to survive in New York City!" I yelled. That's when I realized he had left his ski mask.

2. Drew

At the time, I went into the grocery store on the way back from my ski trip. I was hungry, so I tried to grab some ham from the meat counter. BEEP! An alarm rang in my ears, and I realized it was me touching the ham. That's New York City grocery stores for you. So I left, got in a taxi, and said, "Step on it! Times Square!" to the driver. He wore a name tag that said Joe.

To be continued...

-DJ

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

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James Bond, you have a new mission. First you have to go to Till's-Land Island. Then you must go over the Tomb Hills, and then you have to walk aside The Lake. After that you must cross The Bridge, then climb the everlasting, ever-erupting, red-orange, earth-created Volcano. Then walk over more round, green hills, and then you will find the treasure!

From,

Your Boss

P.S. I am pretty sure the treasure is a pigeon with a pack of gum.

P.P.S. I think the bridge might be broken.

P.P.P.S. I am actually pretty sure that there is no volcano.

P.P.P.P.S. Call me at five or whenever you get the treasure.

-Pearce

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

Map

You're walking to the supermarket, but you trip on something. You look down and see it is a map with lots of details. It's a map for a place called Candy Land, and at the end of it is a blue X. Twenty seconds later, you get sucked into the map!

Soon you're surrounded by candy, and your mouth is watering. You look at the map in your hand and decide to find the treasure. First you start near a bunch of lollipop trees, and the dots on your map point out of the trees and southeast. A chocolate river appears, too deep for you to cross. You see a piece of paper that says, build a bridge. You collect some marshmallows and throw them in the river. Then you quickly across them to the other side.

Next there is a big slide. You spin up the stairs like a rabbit, wondering why you have to go on the slide. Then you realize that below you are thousands of beasts, like dragons, mermaids, dinosaurs, and lots of others.

To be continued...

-Dani

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

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To find the mystic treasure, you must swim through the Water of Death with violent waves roaring against you. Then you must go through the exquisite Unicornlandia, where majestic unicorns live with their silver coats and paper-white horns with unique engravings. Then you go through the steep rolling hills, following the map's path to avoid dying (you will notice graves every five steps, if you think death is near and want a peaceful death without anyone stepping on you, simply leap into a vacant tomb).

After that, you must go to the Balking Chickens of Fear, and you will see humongous chickens with their high-pitched, ear-pearcing balks that will make a deaf man hear again. Then go to Bobville, where everything's name is Bob. Run as fast as lightning to avoid Bob-itis and pass safely through the Daggers of Death. Find your way to the Maze of Death, where plants grow together to make a huge maze. Exit the maze and go through the roaring, erupting volcano, where the blood-red lava is pouring down.

Leave the volcano and stay on the path until you arrive at Creepy Hollow, where all you can hear are shrills and screeches of the owls. Go to the red X and try to find your way back. Good luck.

-Samantha

 

From Word Scavenger Hunt - an exercise where we explored the possibilities of imagery and descriptive language by doing a “reverse” scavenger hunt. The instructor provided the object, and students provided descriptive clues.

Something Homemade

As I hunted around the house for an old earring box, I tripped over a toy. "Oliver!" I felt something under my well-worn glove. Success! A box the perfect size.

Rushing around, I found my baby blue paint in a mad paw through the big black paint box. Squeezing the last drops of sparkling paint out carefully so I wouldn't waste the last of it, I smoothly stroked the paint on. As I set the box to dry, I proudly looked over the work I had done. The box shone like Io, the Greek Godess of Dawn, had shone her light on it.

Here came the hard part. Quietly, I snuck into my parent's room. Slipping a diver's suit under my coat, I flashed out. I cranked open my side window and climbed down the rickety fire escape. As I dressed up for diving, I prepared the old boat for takeoff. Once I reached the heart of the ocean, I hooked my rope around the kelp forest trees and leapt off the boat. As I paddled down to the oyster bed, I immediately spotted two perfect pearls. Snatching the pearls, I thought to myself, "That was easy." I had a spare change of clothes on board the boat, and I changed as quickly as possible and rode home.

To be continued...

-Marley

 

From Treasure Maps, Details & Point of View - an exercise where students created a treasure map with lots of concrete detail, then wrote a story about it using the 2nd person point of view.

Bob

You wake up in a dark, misty jungle full of life. You look around and see many jungle trees and ferns. You pick up your REI axe and start hacking away at a tree. It falls to the ground with a thump! You find some vines from the tree and cut them off. You start to make a boat with your axe, hollowing out the tree as you go, and finish just before nightfall.

You set out on the silver sea with glistening water. You must paddle with branches that you found, and it takes two hours just to get out of sight of the steaming island you now dub Breegronkfrizelcrob. It's another two hours before you and your boat reach a monkey-shaped island with a broken sign that says, "Welcome Bob, to Death by Monkeys Island. Meet my evil cat named Fluffy!"

To be continued...

-Hunter

 

From Word Scavenger Hunt - an exercise where we explored the possibilities of imagery and descriptive language by doing a “reverse” scavenger hunt – the instructor provided the object, and students provided descriptive clues.

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The noise in the cafeteria was loud.

The volume in the echoing lunchroom was so ear-breaking, it sounded like 1,000 lions were roaring at different times. Almost like 100 mad monkeys. I wish this noisy lunchroom was like a green meadow with soft, neighing horses.

-Marcella

 

From You Name It, We’ve Found It - an exercise where students learned about a NYC company that reunites people with items lost in taxi cabs, then wrote stories from the point of view of the taxi driver and passenger.

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One day I was celebrating our team's World Cup win. I decided to leave a little bit early so I could go home and play video games with my friends. When I got into a cab with my trophy and bodyguards, I realized that one of my bodyguards was playing with his choo-choo train. I was about to yell at him, but just then a very round pig with a jetpack and a snort-oink translator flew right into the cab.

The pig said, "You shall die, fellow potato!"

"Dude, I'm not a potato," I said.

"Dude!" the pig said, "I'm not a dude. I'm Mr. Round Piggy."

The bodyguards rushed out of the cab, screaming like newborn babies but 500 times higher in pitch.

To be continued...

-Louka

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